Everyone should be happy on their convocation as it is the day where we get graduation scroll after years of hardship studying and learning at university. Different from me, after attending two convocation, I make a conclusion that it is not my happy day but the two days that I was in heartbroken.
At first, I dont really mind about convocation as I think it just about receiving scroll ceremony. However like others, I also want my family to be happy and proud to see me walk on the stage, wearing convocation robe to receive the degree scroll. Since it can be said as once in a lifetime experience, I hope it will be a happy day for us to get together, taking happy pictures and have our vacation.
However it not going as planned. Maybe Allah want to test how patient I am (come out Im not very patient, heee). My convocation and the convocation that I attend were ruined. The two days I was in heartbroken and mad towards the person who spoil the day. Its very disappointing to have the same person (in my point of view, or maybe Im the one who is wrong. hehe) ruined the special day twice, it really upsetting that make me dislike to a day called convocation.
However in both convo, my lovely mum (IBU MITHALI) save the day by cheering up the situation. Seeing mum like that, I also back-up, try to endure it as I think "isn't us the one who suppose to make her happy? This should be her proud day to see us. So at least in front of mum just back-up and let go". So even the convocations are ruined and I have to force my smile in most pictures, at least I have a happy memory that in both days I have a loving mum, who persuade me with her loving heart, we happily go shopping at convo festival and she really is a loving mum that fair to all us. Thanks mum, you are the BEST MUM!
What I can repent from the upsetting convocation?
We can just planning, but Allah is the best Planner. Even if it goes not as we want, have faith it is the best for us. I always belief in that because I myself experience this many times. Maybe now I said convocation is my unforgettable heartbroken day, but maybe few years later I can smile while remember the day. After all its not all bad, there were also happy memory with mum, friends and the convo festival.
The difficulty come maybe as reminder for me who always forget Him. Too exited in one occasion that I neglect the importance of other. While sis walk on the stage to receive her degree scroll, Im happy to see mum raised her hands to be grateful to Allah for His grace that we were raised healthily and received proper education. Along the ceremony she non stop expressing her gratitude with bright smiles, zikir and doa. Alhamdulillah.
For all 'angry bird' person, please, please, please and pleaseeeeeeeeee. Just for the special occasion, on the special day, please endure your temper and dont be selfish!!! Dont throw tantrum unknowingly for small small matter, think of others especially the elder. When the day is called special day, it is rare that even if you cry and deeply regret, you cannot turn back time to bring back the special day! Appreciate others, be thankful for what they sacrifice and thus work hard to make them happy.
There are limit in teasing other. Saying you not care and repeatedly said the words you doesn't mean can become doa. It was proven on my convocation day. If you love your family, dont be shy to express your feeling. Showing your appreciation and make your family happy is also ibadah. Please be remind, if you continuously and purposely hurting other, ones can fade up and give up on you.
Saying sorry is a noble thing, but preventing to say sorry many times is much much greater. Because everything may forgiven but not forgotten.
I wish I could be like mum. Who is very patient, soft, loving and tough. Even in very difficult and upsetting day, she always patient and grateful to Allah. Always mum, you are my sunshine and my lovely sunshine =)
To myself, just dont be too sensitive and small minded. I also contribute to the bad day or maybe it all happened because of me. Learn and repent from what happen, take the good and leave the bad, because Allah who know the best.
Always I am very tough and patient. But when it comes to family, I am more sensitive and emotional. It because I love them very much.
When invited to attend the convocation, I recalled of what happened to me during my convocation day. Still I bury my memory and said, forget the old story and lets be happy on this. When the second convocation is also a mess, I am very disappointed. However, after all that happened, deep inside I repent, even if I was in heartbroken during the two convocation, I am still very grateful that its all just about feeling. At least we all are physically healthy to attend the ceremony and at least no bad things occur. Alhamdulillah.
Seeing these pictures, I guess it not bad afterall. At least mum is happy and enjoying the day. Alhamdulillah =)
p/s- Its awal muharam and a new year in Islamic calendar. Still my entry is about negative things. Not my intention to just write about my bad day, maybe as reminder so it not happen for the third time? Anyway, Happy Maal Hijrah. =)