Casually Lying

When truth can be hurt......

Use trick instead of lying =P

Lying is deliberating untruth. Morally it is not ethical and in religious it is a sin. We do lie many times in our life as to hide our mistake, to save reputation, to make things real, seasoning in rumors, to make us look great or making other look bad, to get praises, boasting and in critical situation is to save our-self.

We do lie before, but shall today we start to not lying? Start slowly to not uttering lie, but in a critical condition we may use trick (my personal opinion, I think it's OK). What I mean by trick is we are saying the truth, but in creative ways such as not sharing the full info or changing topic while talking. How to determined a trick or lie, its up to ownself. If you seek for Allah's love, believing He is watching, you should know which is what.

These situation always happen in our life

1) To protect yourself

Situation: A friend have many times borrowing money from you but yet pay the old debt and she has history of neglecting her debt (pretending she never borrow) and instead you too shy asking her to pay. Now she ask RM50. Its nothing urgent but just because she overspending with not important things. You have few hundreds in your wallet.

lie: Im very sorry, I didnt bring any today, if not I will absolutely lend it to you. Maybe you better try to lend from xx.

Trick: Sorry, I also need it. 

Comment: By lying as above you encourage her again for the next time and its not nice to suggest the situation you dont like to others. Maybe you can suggest her to borrow from the company where payment is cut off from the salary. It's not that we are stingy, but if its reach others taking advantage on you while she not making effort, this might be the best for both of you. 

2) To look good

Lie: Boasting and exaggerate when talking.

Comment: Mind with other perception is good, but need not to lie for it. First make ourself good for Allah and family.

3) Seasoning in rumor

Lie: You are so into a story that many fact changing. Even add-up voice tone may change the the real meaning.

Comment: It's much better if you cover the embarrassment of others. Spreading the story even if its true is also bad. It's still understandable if it involving you where you just want to share your feeling, but if just for gossiping to entertain the day that not just lie but include backtalking and fitnah. That is being mean.

4) Covering others

Situation: Your friend/co-worker have discipline problem at work. Your boss several times spotted it and thus she ask you for confirmation and opinion. 

Lie: She is not that kind. (with other make-up stories)

Truth: Since I don't know her work scope, I cannot simply comment on others. It is more suitable if you ask her leader or HR because they know her work better and it is their duty to take care the discipline of workers. 

Comment: You were trapped between friends and boss. By telling the truth, that may cause sours in your relationship while if you lying not only you making sin but your boss might lost faith in you. In addition your lying might cause the person think you will her back up forever, get worsen and cause the inconvenient to other with her discipline problem. So take the middle alternative where third party that design for it to handle the issue. 

5) To decline an invitation

Situation: Your boss conduct a birthday party at a restaurant that clearly also a pub with the business mainly selling liquor. Thinking that its not a good perspective/ example for a muslim to be seen in a pub you decided to not go.

Truth: I am very sorry, but I cannot attend. I seek your understanding that its not nice for a muslim to be seen in a pub that later because of us other muslim think its OK and no big deal drink and eat in a pub.

Comment: You dont have to lie or create another excuse for it. With gentle approach tell the truth and stand boldly in your principle. Your boss will understand it and by it he might give good consideration of others sensitivity next time. In my reading, if no other way it's ok to have meal in a place that serve liquor such as at hotel or in an event. Just take the halal food/drink and the utensil is usable after wash (Until the smell, test and color of the alcohol is disappear). However we cannot go to a place that known to mainly sell liquor such as pub or club. Just think that, if they serve alcohol, that means they not care about halal issue. We certainly cannot go to restaurant that serve pork. That because the utensil can only be use after Sertu and impossible for the restaurant to do that.

6) Excuses

Situation: You are an hour late for an appointment.

Lie: To create a better excuse you make up some fact saying you are late because of another meeting.

Comment: Making up a fact is a concrete lie that it seems not even slightest you feels guilty. The times you make up bold excuses not only you are lying to others, but also towards making it a habit. 

6) Not willing to share

Situation: A stranger talking with you and want to know about you while you not comfortable or a friend want to know a thing that you not willing to share.

Lie: Telling the wrong fact

Trick: Answer a question with very short and general answer. 

Comment: The person should take the hint that you are not willing to share. Dont lie, because the next meeting you will be chop as a liar.

7) Don't want others get worry

Situation: Your family ask how you doing while you are actually in big trouble. You don't want to share and make them worry.

Trick: Answer a question with very short and general answer, change to another topic, pretend you not hear the question or pretend that you are OK.

Comment: Towards your family do it wisely and naturally or you might be caught on act =P

In the examples isn't we treated lies as small matter and habitual. In the small matter, without us being force, or situation where lies is really not necessary yet we choose to lie. We casually lies many times, every time and anywhere for own benefit till we forget lie is a sin. Form now learn and discipline ourself to not lying because there must be a good reasons why lying is prohibited. At least we become more trustworthy, discipline and there will be more later. 

ps- This article is a reminder to myself. Lets start to not lie in small2 matter =)