Ramadhan & Eid 2014

Alhamdulillah ya Rabb for me to still breathing till today. Its a month after end of Syawal yet I still want to post about my Ramadhan and Eid 2014. That because they are special to me that I feel the compulsory to write about it, even its late. Hehe..

Alhamdulillah Ramadhan is always a blessing to me that it always the starting point for me to improve myself. A week before Ramadhan, people start blogging about how happy and excited they are welcoming Ramadhan. Blogwalking, and I read the post about how to complete the Al-Quran during Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah, my heart is open to try it as I never think about it before. When at collage I do join the Taddarus with my friends (they always encourage me to do good deed), but now there is only group of men doing Tadarus at surau. That means the past 3 Ramadhan not crossed in my mind to finish the Quran in Ramadahn but just doing my routine of reading few pages.

So this year Ramadhan Im aiming to take a step improvement to finish the Quran. I try my best to finish at least 1 and half juzuk a day by reading Quran after Subuh, Zohor, Magrib, and Terawikh. Honestly 6 pages in a time is kind of tiring, thus I didn't read the translation, and I read it faster. =P However sadly I did not finish the Quran that still 8 juzuk left when Ramadhan end. =( InsyaAllah, if Im still allive, ill try Harder next year.. Amin..

This year Im celebrating Eid at home. Just not long when last Im home, but many things change. Some are good news but there also sad news. Some neighbor and my cousin passed away. Thinking of the days we chatting and being a close neighbor it feel the loss in the neighborhood. Thank you aunty for teaching me how to make baju kurung, giving me extra creamer in chendol, giving us used shirt and for being very kind neighbor. Thank you cousin for being kind toward us and shows affection when we back to kampung. May the kind person rest in peace with Allah blessing. Amin..

When returning from home after Eid, I got Chicken pox. Which is the second Chiken pox after the first when I was 2 years old.Some info I read that it may cause death especially to the adult. It may cause brain infection or viral pneumonia by the chiken pox virus. My fever was not too bad, but still I think about the potential of death.It seems overreact, but its good for me to reflect my bad doing this while, forgive but not forget for what happened a year ago and always late for subuh prayer. I rarely mad at little things, I can adsorb ones anger or madness, I am not a hot tempered nor sensitive person, but if the hurting keep repeating I have a limit that I can forgive but not forget the tragedy. As for the late subuh prayer, I have no excuse, I am a sinner and a shame on me. Still Im grateful to at least have that feeling of shame and guilty, if not what do I become. Ya Allah help me to be a good muslim as I hate myself for being in anger or bad. Amin... 

Dear all my friends and anyone who know me, taking this opportunity I sincerely ask for forgiveness for all my mistakes and wrongdoing. As for the tragedy a year ago, this forgiving season help me to forget the tragic day, it still a bad day but not too melodrama. As for it, you deserve this much of sulking. Its sweet for a few times but will be VERY BAD to repeat it many times. Both of us must take lesson form the tragedy.

I REALLY, REALLY HATE THAT DAY!!!!! PLEASE IT NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN =( 

p/s- The tragedy above is between sisters. Because of the special bond thus the meaning is deeper, no limits, sincere and dramatic. Because I love my family very much, the disappointment hurt me more. But I am grateful to have a sister that willing to persuade me many times. If she is bad, she will never care if I am angry and leave me bite my own tongue. I was not leave alone in anger and she many times with sweet and gentle method approaching me. That the reasons we are fated for each other. In addition half of it is my mistake, its all past and Im very grateful that everyone is physically healthy. Lets take it positively that way, Happy ending =)