Hurt & The Cripples

Tiger, my female cat didn't show up after mum comes for visit. She is the most dependable, independent and skillful mouser in the house compare to her 3 Bro. After about 2 weeks she comes up with crippled left hind leg. She is all good and healthy however.  

Botak, mum's cat that she brought thousands miles from hometown due to the problem he stirred at kampung. He hunt chickens that are rendered dearly for human food but botak though it was for him. Anyway botak also hurt at this moment.  I tripped his leg unintentionally when opening a door not realizing he was behind it. And it was yesterday he fought with the Mr tuxe who is a gangster that have no manner. Botak injured his front leg and make him double cripple today.  

Lion, the most protective among us. He never allow Mr tuxe to freely vandalize the house as his own. When Mr tuxe comes other will just hide frightened anywhere. Lion instead give warning with his loud voice,  and if it not working he fight it with his whole body. Yup, whole body! Not even an inch of his body not covered with wound (cat scratch). I love this protective cat, he is a real lion to the invader and just as sweet and very nice cub to me and is the most pampered among all.

Lion, not an inch witout scratches 

All my cat always wondering around as they please, but eventually back every day for dinner or whenever I was home. However yesterday cheetah coming back after 3 days of absent because he didn't want to share house with mum during her short visit. Mum also love cat, but cheetah is just arrogant and not sociable to human. Guess what, Cheetah came with double cripple at front and hind leg. And with bonus they are burnt paws. He might stepped on burning piles at other place.

The burn paw of Mr cheetah 

I'm speechless on how they all hurt and cripples.  All the 5 cats in the house are cripple and wounded except Olen who wouldn't go far from the house.  

However alhamdulillah its nothing serious and I laughed for it. Yup, they did cripple, burnt and wounded. But they all healthy,  glutton, playful and noisy enough for me to laugh instead worrying them. Alhamdulillah none are serious that need vet help. 

Still wondering of what can I do to help the all 4 cripples at my house? My cat who exploring the world and hurt themselves on the way. I cannot confine them in house as it is also hell for them and me. 

Mr tuxe who always come eating food and abusing my cat. It is ok to eat, but cant you be just polite? He comes 2-4 times every night (10pm, 12am, 2am, 4am) enough to disturb my sleep. Yet he seems helpful to wake me for tahajud. alhamdulillah.. Maybe that is the benifit behind the disturbance. There also few times when I just decided to do puasa sunat just because I wake at 4am and the time is good enough to sahur. and there is also times when I late for dawn prayer because of the sleepless night cause by Mr tuxe. May Allah accept my ibadah which by unconsciously forced lead by Mr tuxe and may He forgive me of where I lack. Second opinion I force myself struggling seeking for hidayah and Mr tuxe as initiator. Amin..

Oh my cripples, take care of yourself and be good. I hope you all healthy and I will try to provide enough for you as I can. May Allah give us good health, fortune and we live happily together. And we shall be grateful for the endless blessing He give that we happy as today. Alhamdulillah.=)

Note: Alhamdulillah still breathing. May we grateful for the blessing 2015 and appreciate the coming 2016. Happy new year with new resolutions =) 

Salam Maulidul Rasul

I love this song specially. It is a song sung by the ansar welcoming Rasulullah s.a.w. During matriculation while watching a historical drama about Islam (the messenger) I was crying when the song played. That because I just knew its meaning that time. On how happily the ansar welcoming Rasulullah and the muhajirin. You can see the sincerity in the song. And you can know on how they love Rasulullah and how Islam guiding them and how they grateful to Allah. Its hard for me to describe,  but with logic, you wont make a beautiful song to just anybody. All praises to Allah the All-knowing and All-wise for His graces to bless us with Rasullulah. Im humbled, grateful and witness Muhammad is the messenger of Allah and Allah is my God. May Allah keep me in the right path. Amin..

Video from youtube

LYRIC [credit]

طلع البدر علينا

ṭala‘a 'l-badru ‘alaynā

The full moon rose over us

من ثنيات الوداع

min thaniyyāti 'l-wadā‘

From the valley of Wada'‘

وجب الشكر علينا

wajaba 'l-shukru ‘alaynā

And it is incumbent upon us to show gratitude

ما دعى لله داع

mā da‘ā li-l-lāhi dā‘

For as long as anyone in existence calls out to God

أيها المبعوث فينا

’ayyuha 'l-mab‘ūthu fīnā

Oh our Messenger (Emissary) amongst us

جئت بالأمر المطاع

ji’ta bi-l-’amri 'l-muṭā‘

Who comes with the exhortations (good advices/commandments) to be heeded

جئت شرفت المدينة

ji’ta sharrafta 'l-madīnah

You have brought to this city nobility

مرحبا يا خير داع

marḥaban yā khayra dā‘

Welcome you who call us to a good way

I Love Cat =3 I Hate Catfight >.<

Trend nowadays people using fb to express their feeling, like a diary to tell their moments of life, a media for social life to sharing thought and conversation. However when doing it excessively without etiquette ones just like someone looking for a fight. Recently my junior told me about a post that seems referring to them in bad ways. Based on what she said, I agree that is bad/rude but I dont give specific comment as Im not in the circle of affected to know the real situation, I am neutral and dont like to involve in such cat fight.

I am sometimes become a place for my junior and friends to share their sorrow, unsatisfied feeling, upsetting day or whatever it is especially about work and study. As said by a studies that september girl is good at words, a good critique (but refrain to be jerk) I always give them advice and my thought fairly, sciencirely with good intention. If I think they are wrong then I said "that is not good and dont do that" or if I think the other party is wrong I will said "thats not good, they shouldnt do that". I heard somewhere in physiology that a listener should be neutral and not sided to any party in the story. Im not following that rule because I am a friend that should gives solid feedback to encourage us or prevent us form falling to become bad. I do talk with intention it can bring out what good and restrain myself for only good purpose because I want His blessing. In addition I know my friends personality thus I know how sincere and true the story is. They also know me as someone that very logical, strict and natural and they know I wont praise them if they not doing good. So we not talk to backbite but sharing stories/feeling between friends. I dont like to involve in others matter, but I do care those who ask. I am more like a consultant that even now my junior ask me "sis give me advice since I becoming more and more lost and discourage". Haha.. Always when I advise others,  it is especially also a reminder for myself.

For me I don't like to involve in cat fight. The cat fight that I mean is war in fb, posting hating that pin point at someone. That later it will bring others to know and involves which worsen the case.

So I told my junior, if you are wronged in that post, just don't open their fb walls. Same as to you, you dont have to upload childish remark especially if many of the readers know whose it is.

Yup, in life meeting with many people,  ain't all are angle because we are human. Everyone make mistakes, have preference, ego, anger and mood. Coop yourself in the nick with the remembrance of Allah and Islam. Islam told us to be kind, and keeping good behavior and retain silaturrahim in society. Allah sees whatever bad things we doing and it will be recorded in our amal, same goes to the good deed. So collect the reward and blessing by  not involve in catfight to purposely hurting each other.

*MOOD*

When we rude, people tend to have bad mood

But sometimes people just in bad mood even if we approach kindly

When they depressed or in bad mood, kindness may lift their spirit

Let us not be a spoiler of others good mood. Eg: if you have personal problems dont get angry to innocent peoples

How am I doing in my nick?

• Alhamdulillah i'm the type who dislikes fighting. Too many other things to do rather than burden myself with catfight.

• I don't easily get angry, but if I got mad, I rather keep quite and restrain myself from getting mad. People however know it by my eyes, I always cannot look in the eyes of a person when Im angry. 

• If the bad things occur, I wont directly explode instead I restrain or solve the problem myself. I will only talk if the bad deed occur repeatedly which I cannot endure. I will construct my words earlier and think the bad consequences from it. After that if the bad deed still repeating, I may remind for the 2nd or 3rd times. At the 4th time I usually prepared with fact and evidence. At this point I usually really mad since the anger that I kept for a very long time burst. I really mad but I endure myself to be angry since I reallyx10 hate sour face in the future. Even I endure,  people know it since I cannot act.

• I rarely mad, if I do it is because of a very strong reason, purpose and usually with fact and evidance. When I mad people usually cant deny because I have my evidance. Neither they can find my fault because I usually very strict to myself. I wont do the thing I think is wrong. The last resorted word my sis usually said is "you think you are perfect and didnt make mistakes?". Then I told her "tell it to 100 peoples to evaluate, who the bad person in this case, who won't get mad". Hahahahahaha.... I dislikes fighting,  but sometimes it necessary and usually it would turn into a better life after that.

• Most of the time, I wont involve/mad in things that not related to me. For example bad talk about others family. And I most disgust bad talk towards friends in a group of their own friend, especially about the issue that not related to them or personal issue of the victim. When I saw such person, she wont get my trust.

• I also dislikes to hear friends backbiting each other especially on mare issue that smear shame on that friend. I will avoid or not giving respond in the issue.

• If people try to bring issue about other friends especially if not related to us,  I will just Change the topic into current or political issues. If it keep repeating, I will said "it is a sin for us to backbite friends. My sis wont backbite and I admire her". I usually give my sincere opinion even that means I didn't support them. I wont said things that I don't think right just to comfort people when it is obviously wrong. However try saying it in polite ways, such as making it sound like a joke or it not to make guilt the other person instead it is for yourself especially.  

• Good thing about me is i'm afraid to lie and I cannot act. I don't like to talk bad about other because I will feel burden/ not comfortable infront of her. Its really weird to see people talk bad about their friend and become so sweet in front of her minutes later. Its scary I think.

• I do have resentment in daily life, and I do critic but always restrain myself.  I talk on things that obviously wrong, I complaint to the respective person and discuss how we can improve and I dont make joke nor entertain myself with the argument.  So eventhough we have different view,  yet we not fight nor hate each other. REALLY, CATFIGHT NEVER IS ENTERTAINING NETHIER WHEN WATCHING IT.

• In a situation I cannot endure, I usually express it in my diary or complaint to my sister about it. But nowadays I didn't tell sis because she is too kind and not helpful. I'm clinging but she is careless to this kind of issue so I think it useless. I think expressing feeling to siblings is not backbite instead just pouring thought, share things and taking care of each other. However only tell what is really happen and don't overboard to a limit that lying. Because that really bad, and you lost your reward. Sometimes I ask sis, "is this called back biting? When it involves and occuring to me and I not marely badtalk". Sis will answer, "yes it still is!". A good advice from sis is "what you said is true, but covering ones bad deed is noble, and rewarded with Allah blessing and He cover up your defect". Actually I didn't complaint much (yalah!), just some issues that affecting me deeply. I am a week human indeed, I hope to be more more and more patient. Sis advice is true and help me very much.

[credit]

• I didnt share any of bad thought to my friends,  even my best friend. If anything bad happen,  I rather ignorance (forget it) rather than share it with other. Friends are friend, theres limit of professionalism and respect that I restain myself from being clingy.

• If I have argument with other, I usually didn't talk about it to other nor post in social media that I'm mad at particular person.  I wont think deeply on the argument and live as usual like nothing happen. By time the argument dissolve itself naturally as it never happen.

• People know me that i'm easy. Whatever happen I will easy to cool down. A simple smile will make me to let go in the argument and even lay low in order to dissolve it. Again I hate fight because its a burden in heart and wasteful.I hate fight, I hate sour face.!!!

• To prevent fight, I rather isolate myself than with people who love to fight and bad talk.  I really appreciate good friend, but I wont find it comfortable with those who keep pricking other. I do sociable, but when times to victimize other I rather pass. Isolate myself and prevent myself in such culture will lessen my bad experience and automatically my complaint. So I will be more happy with lessen sin to talk bad of other.

• I prevent myself not being a cause in a fight. I prevent myself become flint in a fight who enjoy people's fight and argues.

• Just remember that we wont live forever and theres heaven/ hell after this. Poking on other's matter that not related to us and really not necessary is a wasteful action paid with sin. What worst, the sin can only forgiven by that person (victim). So even we are weak human with emotion dont be too bold and arrogant. Do more beneficial things that please Allah and seek for His blessing sincerely.  

An example of bad talk. It is non of Jon business yet he find it entertain to talk about Garfield lacks which brings no benefit at all. And he only have courage to talk bad behind Garfield :p

• Lastly because I remember Allah and Islam,  it control myself from being bad person. I am bad, but Islam guiding me to not being jerk. I will be grateful if people see me as someone that solat, and not interested to backbite. I am proud when people said she is a Muslim and trustable.

As a conclusion,  restrain ourself in a catfight. It is wasteful, bad to body and mind, a sin and unethical. Argument is good if it has purpose but catfight is a childish way, that may lead to bigger fight that may end up with people really hate you. Avoid it as there are soo many things to do and learn in order to improve yourself. If arguing with intention to fight (initiate haters, feel happy of others misfortune, a flint, feel entertain with the badtalk) with no benefit seen, its really a sin and ourself is in a bigger loss. Find blessing instead!!

Note: I do catfight, but only to my sis. Its terrible but I have my reasons for it. I usually win because I wont mad without purpose,  it will end with a better life and improvements in us. We are siblings, so the catfight is almost opposite than with friends. I lost my cool image arguing with sis. In my eyes sis careless but im a head complainer and clingy. Sis has bad temper but she has big patient and big heart.  And what make us improve, it is Allah and Islam to remind us, and because we love each other unconditionally. When we fight I always ask "o Allah, let me be kind toward sis and let us be closer because I love her"..amin..

Be clingy only to those who understand and love you Which ususlly is your family.

Alhamdulillah my friends are those who are kind and they always lead me to the right path. Even now we still remind and  encourage each other.

The situation I usually cannot hold myself is when I were accused on things im not doing especially when I have my evidance. I will defend myself. Luckily all peoples around me is all fine people.

Sometimes its not a bad catfight.  Some are just simply clingy and need attention just because she thinks you have been careless on her recently. She didnt mad because she is bad nor she hate you. Insted she is sulking because she love you very much and want to bring out what is better and she knew you understand it all. Be patient to this kind of clingy people. =p

My Chicken Pox Diary

Back then I remember when comes to chicken pox topic, I don’t know a thing and just said “I don’t know, I got it when I was 6 month old”, then I will keenly listen to the experience of others about their chickens pox story. Now I can say “I got twice and one pox nicely scared on my face!”. Its nothing to brag about, but I belief many think got chickens pox and recover from it is one special experience. Many will share how they got it, the remedy they use, the suffer they endure and people reaction to it. Above all we grateful to recover from it, being healthy again, able to fight the virus, another second chance to live because about chickens pox story some not survive and they may those who close to us.

Health cannot be buy with money. So be grateful and take care of your health. 

I remember the old memories when chicken pox outbreak in our neighborhood, all our kid gang infected with chicken pox including my sis. I however not infected and mum said I got it when I was 6 month old after I received chicken pox vaccine. That when I thought I got it once and it won’t infect me again since I was immune to all the patient around me. Honestly that time I kind of adore/ jealous on how all our gang infected, it seems fun that time. Everybody showing their recovery, their treatment and all the entertaining stories they have. During treatment by drink coconut water, I do join the club alongside the patient. Hahahaha.. However I really cannot stand the garlic treatment that sis use on the pox scar. I really2 dislikes all types of onion, it stink and smelly where I can throw up by just its smell! I really suffer during that time with the house smell of garlic!!!! It especially the bedroom where I have to sleep in one bed with sis. We have another bedroom but since I am a coward and afraid to sleep alone, I endure the suffering to sleep with that garlic ghost (my sis)! huhuhuhu T.T

Chicken pox is caused by varicella zooster virus that start with fever accompanied by itchy blister that last for 5 to 10 days. Complication may include pneumonia, skin infection and brain inflammation. It is an airborne disease that spread through sneeze and cough of infected person and may also spread by touching the blister. chicken pox usually occur once in a person life but some may infected more than once. Sis, mum, me and my friend are examples chicken pox occuring twice, while I get to know theres blogger that infected as many four times. Recovery is based on self limit and treatment usually to ease the symptom. Paracentamol use to reduce fever, calamine lotion to ease the blister, and there were medcine to make you sleepy encouraging rest and not feel the itchiness or fever. 

Day 1

I just back from hometown and I feel very tired, weak and loose my appetite. Thought it normal because I always have fever whenever I leave my family.

Day 2  

I really feel very sick that I told my labmate I won’t go out for lunch instead I have a deep sleep in office. That evening I back home and continue my sleep after maghrib and I do Isya’ at nearly dawn.

Day 3

My body feels very hot and thermometer shows it was 38°C, and I feel difficult to breath. “Is this another homesick fever or am I infected with TB?” I told to myself. That because just few days ago at hometown I visit a neighbor that has TB. In the TB isolated wad, the nurse didn't give us mask saying only the patient have to wear mask.”Am I infected because of that?” I further guess. That night I feel very hungry, yet I don’t have appetite to eat any. I force myself to eat rice, take paracentamol and go to bed with my head feel like floating. I seldom go to clinic for normal sickness, but if Im not recover by tomorrow Im going to clinic!

Day 4

I wake up in the morning with light body thinking the fever has gone. I take breakfast happily before went to work. I saw my face in a mirror and spotted one blister which I thought big acne. In the afternoon when taking wuduk for zohor, I spotted theres about 7 small blister in both hands and four blister at the back ear. It was reddish and very small, think it maybe just a mare rash but insist I don’t have allergic to any food. “Is this chicken pox? Didn’t mum say I have it when I was 6 month old? Isn't it once in a lifetime infection?” After zohor I directly google the images of chicken pox blister, and BINGO it exactly as the blister I have.

That day Im wearing telekung from a friend, thus I inform her that I maybe got chicken pox. Afraid if she too will infected, I told her not to wear the telekung that I use and I will wash it for her. She said its ok because she already got it once. Taking precaution I disinfect the telekung using UV radiation in a lamina flow. Hahaha..

That evening we have little talk about chicken pox and my labmate offer to bring coconut water for me tomorrow. TQVM friend, I really appreciate it.

Day 5

I don’t have fever or feeling sick anywhere except for the itchy at the blister area. More blister grow up to 30 spots especially on head area. I went to clinic that morning. While on it I also ask for full medical check up and I told the Dr about the blister and if possible I got TB. The Dr feel funny of me saying about the TB and the full medical check up. He must think that this person is too afraid to die. Hihihihi.. Actually since we got free medical check up, why not I use it in this critical moment, I should care for my health. Hehehe..

I do x rays, blood test, urine test and other check up. I think twice about blood check up because I’m afraid of the syringe. During matriculation while doing biology lab practical, my finger were stabs (pinched) many times to get drop sample of blood yet it won't come out. Thus I think blood withdrawal will be more painful. That was the first blood withdrawal I have but come out its nothing big deal. After hearing all the horror story about blood withdrawal and imaging that blood were suck from us, nah its just like being bitten by small ant! Haha.. Or maybe I am lucky to get a skilful Dr. Alhamdulillah..

Yup, things in clinic/hospital are all scary thinking it is use on our body. Alhamdulillah never experience any. 

The Dr prescribe me medcine (will list its name if I found the pic). To my weird isn’t I should get medical leaves and advised to be quarantine. Because that what my friends told me and what I read. Shy to ask for medical leaves,  instead I ask the nurse if it is ok for me to meet and communicate to peoples. She said it is ok and no problem. Thinking that chickens pox will not cause harm to adult, I went back to my workplace and drink the coconut water given by my labmate. One of my friend told me since I have drink coconut water, I should not take medicine or it may cause death by poisoning. We talk about our experience, the death by chicken pox and its remedy.

Day 6      

Since I drink coconut water yesterday, I decided to take medicine by tomorrow. Its Sunday and I got free time to google about chicken pox and search info about the medicine I received. Understand the function of each medicine, I decided to use traditional method to drink allots of coconut water and I won’t take bath today.

Feeling very weird about me not get MC, the second most search keywords are “can a chicken pox patient be in public” and ”MC for chicken pox”. Come out all post and article say the patient should rest and quarantine for few days.

Day 7

Since I did not get medical leaves I went to work as usual. Still concerning it might infect other, I sat mostly in my closed office and doing paper work. Precisely I quarantine myself and not meeting people. Hehehe.. The blister starts to burst, many on body and just 8 on my face. Luckily that is not too bad.

We doing hari raya gathering lunch that day, and I eat in my office. My boss Mr Francis told me that maybe I don’t get MC because I didn’t ask. “It is rare for a chicken pox patient to work. They should rest to recover and should not be in public to prevent spreading the virus” he said. After eating lunch I call the clinic and told the nurse that I forgot to ask MC for my chicken pox, the Dr who treated me gives me 7 days MC and say if I not recover by then I can continue my MC for another week. “Am I wrong for not asking the MC? Shouldn’t the Dr concern on their patient advice us to be quarantine and offering the MC? Heeeeeeeeee….” I have a long sigh debating why I didn't get MC. It's not that Im lazy to work, I don’t feel deathly sick but it still not comfortable with all the itchy, concerning other might get the disease, some say don’t get bath when have chicken pox and that is my right as a sick worker Im not faking it. Huhuhu..

Day 8

Since I didn’t go to work today, I decided not to take bath. My friend Illani who recently experienced chicken pox said Dr told her it is good to take bath using medicated soap such as Detol in order to prevent infection on the blister. As for me I think it is better to not take bath because it will cause the blister swell or burst during bath, peeling its cover (the skin) and dried-up after that. At some point you feel the water entering the wound and it cause a volcano like scar. The two days earlier when I take bath I feel little bit dizzy after bath, that because the blister on my head got swell and I feel the water entering the wound. Searching in internet, I found the possibility of skull infection by the chicken pox virus. Thus if you have nowhere to go just don’t take bath during chicken pox. It is not that bad or dirty when three days not taking bath since you are in clean environment in your house and you have less sweating doing nothing. =)

Today again I’m drink two coconut water and not using fan, with the wish the pox come out more as many as possible so no more virus in my body and I won’t get the third time. Amin…

Day 9

The blister start to dry up whiles no more new pox pop-up. Overall I have not much pox, just about 70-100. And it is not too bad as what I saw on other. I am grateful it is not many and I really take precaution to prevent scar. Today again I don’t take bath and the whole day I focusing on searching info about chicken pox.

Since I am not sick except for the itchiness, I take opportunity to reflect myself and doing extra ibadah. I repeatedly remind myself that I should be very grateful that the most sick I have is only chicken pox (especially at day three). Even my chicken pox not that bad, I remind myself people can die because of that. Anything can happen, the healthy today can die suddenly while they have a good sleep. Sadly after some solat sunat, I taking rest by watching K drama and I little bit forget about my reflection. Huhuhuhu…. “Suriana, this is prove why you should watch less K drama! You become forgetful and you wasting time!” my good side scolding me. “Im not addicted, I just watching it while eating and taking rest, the story line is also just about our daily life with some advice that good to learn” my other side protest. @_@

Day 10

Today again I didn't take bath. Since it’s already the third day, it is became little bit not comfortable. I use fan to cool me up and then I continue searching info about chickens pox in internet and then went to sleep.

About 1pm I look at my phone and I saw few missed calls. Oh that my collogues Nija and Naty. I sms her that I’m sleeping that I don’t take the call. She asks how I’m doing and offer if I need help of buying groceries. I told her not to worry since I am the types who buy bundle of stocks that can last up to 4 month. Hehe..    

At about 2pm I got another sms. It was from my boss Mr Chia asking if I am sick. “I got chicken pox” my simple reply. He said he wants to visit, but I said that it is not necessary as I don’t take bath for few days. Just after few minutes my door was knocked and it was him. I went out wearing sweater with pink celemine losyen still on my face and I must be very smelly. *_*

“How you doing?” he said

“I’m fine without fever or dizziness, it just because of the chicken pox. I'm ok to work now but I’m still concern if I go to work I may infect other” I reply truthfully.

“Oh, don’t bother that. You should rest enough to recover, don’t think about work now” he said. “I just back from KL when I heard you sick, Im pity you since you live alone. Do you need anything or my help?” he offer.

“Im all good, thank you very much. Don’t you afraid if I might infect you? Chicken pox to adult is more severe and lethal than kid's” I told him.

“It’s ok, if infected and die, then die lo” he said jokingly and we both laugh.

He left me and I was grateful that some people concern about me.

Day 11

It’s the 4^th day. Seeing the wound fully dried, I decided to take bath today, after all I need to do further medical checkup today.

After check up I went to a supermarket that where I met my cousin and we went to lunch together, then I straight back home.

Day 13

I didn’t take bath again. Many of the crust peel off but the biggest on my face (the first blister I spotted) still retain. “I won’t peel you off, just don’t be a scar, please” I told the crust while sincerely praying from bottom of my heart. ^o^

It is my last off day, again today main objective is to find info about chicken pox. I learnt many things from the weeks searching info. It’s not overboard if I said I can be expert in chicken pox. Hehehe.. =P

Day 14

I went to work today with few crust is still on my face and I work as usual.  

Day 15

The big curst is still there, nicely attached on my  cheek.

Day 16

After taking bath I realize the big curst peeled off. I create as big pockmark. Please don’t be a scar. I beg. The thin skin is feel stingy and irritated.

Day 40++

I realize the big blister, became a big volcano-like curst, leaving a big scar and it will not recover forever. That my chicken pox mark it telling me I really have a second chicken pox, be grateful I recover from it and please please please no more after this….

That the long pages diary of my chickens pox story. I am not barging nor proud about it, but I am very grateful that my chicken pox is not lethal, I recover from it and just want to share part of my experience that may benefit to anyone. O Allah, Im grteful for your grace that I'm still breathing and healthy today, I'm grateful Its only normal chicken pox nor any other sickness, Alhamdulillah still live and healthy today =)

All praises to Allah for His grace that we still alive in His earth. Every wake up is a chance given to improve ourself to be better. 

Note: 

• This happened during Syawal 2014

• Human! be grateful for being healthy! Show it with your words and action. Ya Rabb, Im grteful, keep me in your path.. amin.. 

1D

Many know 1D, the popular English-Irish pop boy band. They debuted in 2010 and still active until today as 4 members. However for me, I just starting to like their songs recently.

As a routine I read yahoo news every morning. During 2012 I remember that most of the yahoo topic is about 1D. Scrolling through the news title it about 1D as the best boy-band of the year etc.. etc. "its phenomena", I thought. Yet I didn't read the article as I'm not interested in English songs nowadays and i cant spend much time to read.

In 2013 my friend buy a touch screen hand phone where she can download songs very fast. During lunch she show me 1D music video 'one thing'. Watching it with not much interest, I imagine 1D is like Disney kid of 'high school musical' or 'camp of rock'. Im not into it yet..

In late 2013 I think, once again 1D fulling the article in yahoo. Some about Harry Styles dating Taylor Swift and etc. Again I just went through the title, without read the article. But I'm interested in the 'One Thing' video by peptody (pet parody). Yet that just it..

In 2014 an islamic blog post about Zayn Malik tweet about Islam and wearing Pakistani cloth. That when I knew he is a Muslim.

In 2015, a new staff came and she have few 1D songs in her tracklist. While doing lab work she usually play it loud thus I also hear the songs while trying to digest it to my mind. After many time hearing it, I thought the songs are good. But that just it..

Few month ago again 1D became a topic in news when Zayn Malik leaving the group. That also when many blogger tweet about them. Its really a phenomena, but I still am not intrested. Like always, I just through the title without read the article.

Recently I download a new video downloader software. Scrolling through you tube I didnt know what to download to try the effectiveness of the new software. Then passing in my mind is 1D songs. Thus I try few song to download and It downloaded successfully.

With all the above happen, I finally hear their songs. It was 'one thing, and 'what makes you beautiful' that make me really like their songs. I search about their group because Im the type of one that love to search info.

So when Im using computer at house, I will play their song and sing along happily. It happen many days where I also try to remember the lyric and sing along the beat. At workplace when doing works that no need concentration such as waiting for machine installing in 20 second, instead of recite Al-Baqarah as I do usually, I just sing the 1D songs. And nowadays when wake up in the morning, instead of wake up with doa, I remember the 1D songs lyric. Whoa.. that really remarkable, it really into my head.. @ . @

Ive try to play it cool, girls when Im looking at you

I can never be brave

Coz you make my heart race

lalalalala~~~

So for few days I didnt play the song instead I watch 'Lets Go Dream Team' when at home while resting. 

Their songs are really good. It make you happy, energetic and bouncing with the beat. Actually I don't really like English songs nowadays after the Westlife era, but 1D is exceptional. hehe

When I was a kid, I follow my sis method to learn English by singing popular English song. We write down the lyric and try to translate its meaning into Malay. The group popular that time is Blue, S-club, Westlife, M2M, MLTR and Back Street Boy. I still like their songs until today and some are very encouraging such as 'S-club:Reach Out for the Sky', 'S-club: Bring it All Back', 'Westlife: Flying without wings' and 'Westlife: I have a dream'. MLTR and M2M however best in their love songs while BSB and Blue best in their pop song.

While I'm in collage there were times during semester break (not many people in the hostel) when my friends and I singing M2M song 'The Day You Went Away'. There were also days when my housemates and I singing and recording Rihanna popular song 'Umbrella'. We laugh after we hear our bad singing from the recording. It makes a good memories in our friendship. So I think no problem to enjoy any songs casually.

However in my case, singing that songs while forgetting zikir, remembering the songs while I dont memorise simple surah, and even wake up with it instead of doa. I need to restrain myself little bit. I didnt do much good things, i didnt knowledgeable, good in tadarus nor able to do many ibadah that deserve His reward. So may the simplest ibadah by hearing zikir and reciting some will change me to be better in seeking His hidayah and blessing. Amin .. 

In old days, I didnt like to play any song as I think it is distraction when im working, reading or thinking. Knowing 1D I play their songs for a few weeks.  However nowadays I try to play zikir as routine. The songs instead make me realize of what Im lacking and what I should doing. Alhamdulillah same as the 1D impact, it does play repeatedly in my mind. I wakeup with zikir and doing my work while reciting it joyly. Alhamdulillah..

I think the songs are great, but zikir is more beneficial for me. Will sing a song sometimes, but wont really indulge into it. More importantly "Suriana dont forget Doa!!" ^_^ V

Ramadan 2015

How ya doin this Ramadan? AlhamdulillahX3 thank you ya Rabb, Ramadan never fail to give me special feeling and excitement that hard to explain the happiness. Not only me, the people around me does feel the same with everybody working hard to improve iman and there are feeling of respect and new spirit of doing better. Alhamdulillah, I hope we all get the barakah of Ramadan and Allah keep us in His hidayah and blessing. Amin…

A week before ramadan friends start to send greeting of salam Ramadan. It’s quite early I think and we are waiting for the day. Everyone start their vision and list to do during Ramadan and how to make its meaningful and optimally use to get His blessing. As for me my main target for this Ramadan is to finish the whole Quran, solat subuh on time and wake up for sahur. They are actually basic but not easy for me. =(

As in my post last year on how I learned the formula to finish Quran on time of Ramadan. Unfortunately I didn’t finish the whole Quran last year with 2 juz left. Alhamdulillah it became one mission for Ramadan this year and it is one thing that make me exciting in this special month. Since I get Ramadan greeting early, Playing in my mind on how to achieve my mission. Cannot wait for the next, next day, I start my tadarus 3 days before Ramadan. Hihihihihi… thus I’m in juz 3 on the 1^st Ramadan.. hahaha.. Alhamdulillah ya Rabb, I’m happy doing that simple ibadah.. Alhamdulillah ya Rabb I’m feel calm and being loved.. Alhamdulillah ya Rabb, I’m doing it sincerely not as routine..

This year I make my own poster for Ramadan greetings. Hehehe.. I was inspired by the previous poster that I copy from Google search. Another reason I make a new one is because the old poster has state on how to finish the Quran twice during Ramadan. For me, once is good enough and weakling like us might feel pressure about it. Anyway it’s not about quantity, but those who afford may do so blessingly, In sha Allah. ^.^V

The poster from Google :)

My own designed poster =D

I want to change to be better, to be close to Him, I want to seek His blessing and hidayah, many things I’m doing is wrong and wasteful and sometimes I think I’m becoming more and more bad. Thus I want to work hard in this blessing month seek forgiveness and changing to be better. Amin..

Note: The post was written during Ramadan, but due to time and internet problem, it was posted late. My first post using smartphone..  hehe.. =>

Uncle Salim

Uncle Salim is my mum’s supervisor which also is our neighbor. Uncle Salim was very friendly, humble and kind towards his workers and all peoples. Since mum working with him in the factory they share many stories including family, work, business, gardening and general issues. 

In that small village our siblings are known to be good in studies. With sis get 4A1B in UPSR is considered the best in that small village. (Alhamdulillah).. Uncle salim always told mum that he admire mum to have good, hardworking and polite kids. That is especially when he saw us helping mum doing chores at house/ shop and gardening. That when he got the idea to make sis as a tuition teacher for his kids. He is very sincere in asking that and humbly saying it will be a favor for his family. I remember how he humbly asking from mum:

“Aunty, I need your eldest to teach my kids in their studies. They would never study on their own. My wife and I wasting our voice urging them to study everyday but didn’t work. Those kids just playing around and cannot focus. My wife cannot teach them as she needs to take care of the 3 years old baby. It would be a help if you allow your eldest teaching tuition to my kids, I would give good pay for that”.

Without thinking much about money, mum and sis agrees to it since it is not a big deal at all. That time sis was only 12 years old while uncle Salim’s kid is in primary 2. When we went to their home uncle Salim’s wife will prepare food and drink for us. Sis teaches for about 90 minutes until about 5pm. The wife is also very friendly, soft and kind and their kids is also polite, little bit shy, listen to elder and cute. Overall it really no hard at all instead it is enjoyable to gain valuable experience. Sis teaches 3 days per week and uncle Salim pay her RM50. It is a good pay for someone that young and it is more (RM2.70/hour) if compare to someone that work as a shopkeeper with salary RM300/month (=RM1.44/ hour) that time. Sis starts tutoring during school holiday, but when she enters secondary school she pass the tutoring to me. That because form 1 started their school at afternoon until evening. 

We both tutor uncle Salim’s children for about 2 years but not frequent as they sometimes back to home town. When sis at from 3, uncle Salim’s family leaved the village to their hometown. It feel quite saddened that a kind neighbor leaving the circle. 

However 3 years later sis coincidently met uncle salim while she waiting for bus. Uncle salim stop by and offer sis for ride. They both going to a same town but to different destinations. Driving extra miles to help sis, she arrived at the destination safely. 

Few days ago mum call saying that uncle Salim has passed away due to cancer. During his critical many neighbor plan to visit him at hospital, but unfortunately he depart before that. When mum told me about the incident, my heart rush with sadness and “he is kind” is what I utter automatically. When we change to another topic during the phone call, I cannot concentrate other than thinking that another kind people left us. So I reverts asking mum about uncle Salim few times. 

Even we are of different race and religion, we live in harmony. Being kind, polite, humble, sincere, friendly, helpful and concern to other is what we must learn from uncle Salim’s family. 

My deepest condolence to the family and I do sincerely hope they can stand strong. It surely very hard to let go the one we love. Other than me I’m sure many other still remember uncle Salim kindness. The family must be proud to have such kind man in their house. 

After tutoring uncle salim’s kids, few other families also request us to teach their kids. Some of the uncle and aunties jokingly called us teacher. We work about 4 times a week but it not hard at all because it is like we learn for our self since the age different is only about 1-4 years. And Alhamdulillah, we do tutoring the neighborhood until today. Even now we live and work far away from the village, when it semester break or holiday when we back to the village, even for one week break many still request and want to learn with us. We not putting price for the teaching and receive what ever they can afford even if without money. But this time the kids comes and learn at our house and usualy about 8 primary school kids . We feel blessed seeing the kids want to learn and with every short time, we really hope if the kids can experience learning with us and planting willingness to learn and a hope to someday improve their family life with education. 

With Allah willing, we met uncle salim’s family. The tutoring started from their family and it continuously till today. And Alhamdulillah it not only a work experience but also an ibadah for us to be kind and sincere to other. Knowing uncle Salim, we learn the value of being kind and sincere. Alhamdulillah..

Note: Will never forget the kind family. May they healthy and happy wherever they are.

Assignment

While arranging documents in my computer, clicking in the ‘study file’ and I randomly read on things that I learnt while in university. Then I reach to this document which is one of my assignments for subject organization behavior. I couldn’t remember the exact question but I think it ask “based on your experience what activity can motivate peoples in an organization”. Thus here is my submitted answer. Hehehe…

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In my life, activity that I think motivates me the most is when I am joining SUKSIS. SUKSIS is stands for Kor Sukarelawan Polis Siswa Siswi or Police Undergraduate Voluntary Corp. The idea of establishing SUKSIS was inspired by YAB Dato' Seri Abdullah Hj. Ahmad Badawi, the 5th Malaysian Prime Minister. The establishment of SUKSIS corps in Malaysian Higher Learning Institution is believed to help producing excellent graduates who comply own viable competence, discipline and furnished with noble values, and high self-esteem.

The main objective of the establishment of kor-SUKSIS was to expose the police duty to the students and to attract them to join police in their future. Other than that SUKSIS can be a points and ears for Royal Malaysian Police (RMP) in channel information about crime scene in local. Kor-SUKSIS was joined by the undergraduates’ students in the university for three years as a police volunteers. The member of kor-SUKSIS will undergo physical and mental training which includes marching, life effort, training shoot, swimming, first aid, person defensive art, law class, camping and sport.

From my experience as one of the member of kor-SUKSIS, I think that most activity done in SUKSIS was very useful in order to build graduates with high discipline and with good physical fitness. From the very beginning when the first step we join SUKSIS, students are selected based on their physical figure and all members undergo interview session to observe their mentality and generic skill.

In the training, we have a lot of activity that involve team building. The activity such as marching, life effort, first aid and camping really need us to rely on each other and work as a team. Other than that in defensive art and marching, discipline was a very important aspect that being stressed by the coach and punishment will be given to those that not following the rule.

Other than training, we also have academic classes that involve first aid and law class. From the class we have gain many knowledge which I think very useful to increase nationality spirit among students.  Other than that, we also taught about morality, discipline and generic skill.  Each member in kor-SUKSIS must respect to each other and greeting to the coach and seniors was something ritual in SUKSIS in order to keep the feeling of respect to the elders. As to keep a good relationship and cohesiveness between members, activity such as Kor-SUKSIS Family Day, Hari Raya celebration, Police day celebration and prayer together was done and plan every year in SUKSIS activity calendar.

However for me what most motivates me while I am joining SUKSIS is when I am wearing our uniform which is similar to the uniform of the Royal Malaysian Police. The reason I feel that way is because the uniform is the symbol that shows we are the member of kor-SUKSIS and it gives us a sense of belonging in kor-SUKSIS. When wear the uniform we feel very proud that we must keep our pride by show a good manner and example to the other.  In addition in SUKSIS we have a motto which is “Discipline First and Fitness Is Our Identity’ which mean discipline and healthy lifestyle is represent the culture of SUKSIS. From my three years experience in SUKSIS, what I can see the culture of SUKSIS is we are very particular about discipline, time management, physical fitness, team building and also the spirit to love our country. I hope that this culture will be continuously occurring in SUKSIS now and forever.

If I was a manger of an organization, I think that most of the activity in SUKSIS can be used to motivate the people in the organization. As for me, I think that a good relationship in an organization was very important in order to increase the performance of the organization.  Only by having good relationships within the organization that can build a team spirit in them. Activity such as family day, camping and prayer together should be done in order to increase cohesiveness between members. In addition healthy activity such as sports and defensive art is good for the physical fitness of the member.

Other than that in the organization, I think that the organization should have a symbol that differentiates them with other organization. So, I think in an organization, they should have a clear logo, motto, mission and vision. In addition, member should be proud when they wearing or show the logo that represent their organization.

In an organization, respect to each other was something that is very important in order to maintain a good relationship within the organization. In an organization, the higher rank people in the organization usually will not have a closed relationship with the worker due to the status barrier. However the workers should be more respect their leaders while the higher rank people should be more caring toward their workers. In addition leader is the one that should give a good example to the worker as it will shape the organization culture of the organization.

In a conclusion, I really think that some activity in SUKSIS can be used to motivate that worker in the organization as what can I see that SUKSIS successfully can produce a good students with noble values and high self-esteems. However there are many others effective way can be used to motivate workers.
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Above is the real original copy of my assignment. What I can comment:

• Oh my English! Huhuhu… I really need to learn and improve it.. In sha Allah, amin =)

• Too childish and straight forward opinion and very obvious it is from layman. Heeee…

• That time I have yet learn paragraph justification, that why it all ‘aligned left’ and look not tidy.. 

• The sentence is too long to elaborate one point, and it seems repeating… hehe..

• Prove that suksis is a good activity for students.. hehehe

• Fun to read and precious to remember… suksis and uni life, I miss them all… Alhamdulillah when recalled back, there are many good memories. Thank you Allah for smoothen my ways at uni. Alhamdulillah.. =D

Garfield comic strip: Lets learn and improving =)

Police Day

This morning while choosing dress for work, unlike usual, I choose my PDRM cooperate T-shirt. It is not my favorite because I have to wear inner since the shirt's hands are short. Maybe the last time I’m wearing it was last year (3 months ago).

At lab while working on clean bench, I’m listening to a radio program. It talks about PDRM history and one of the DJ mention about national police day. “Oh, today is police day? Coincidently I’m wearing my PDRM shirt” I told my lab mate while I myself also amazed. It recalled the old memory which I treasure dearly.

Even though I am not a police officer, I have special attachment with PDRM. I was once a member of SUKSIS, stand for kor sukarelawan polis siswa siswi or undergraduate police volunteer. We wear the same uniform like police officer except for the rank button/accessory. We also exposed with police syllabus, activity, lifestyle and regulation. Learned about weapon (M16 and revolver), material arts and marching which is a must for police.  I will write about my experience in SUKSIS another time… =)

Since today is national police day, I also want to congratulate all the Malaysian Royal Police for being in this noble profession to keep Malaysia safe from crime and disturbance. Honestly not everyone has the gut to be one of them (to confess, I myself and Im not proud of it). They have strong in physical, mental and braveness to face and take down thug. They exposed themselves to danger while seeking for bad guy. The uniform is their pride making them look different in public eyes as someone that are dependable and trustworthy.

As the public we shall help the police by giving best cooperation to them. Don’t be mad when it little bit jammed during police road block. They might look for a dangerous bandit or a serial killer. Give cooperation when they check your belonging because they might looking for drug that can spoil the society. Don’t be rude while answering their question, they working hard enough under the hot sun to face your ugly behavior. Don’t think negatively when they take short break at a coffee shop, they also a human eat to recharge. When their voice little bit harsh, that because they are police. They live in a rough world dealing with more violent bandit. Shortly, we should not think too negatively about police because it is hindrance in their work to protect us.

Maybe some have bad experience with bad police, but not all like that. Many still work with sincerity and braveness that we not even dare. Be cautious as necessary but not rude or being too negative because we are being help by them indirectly. The police as well should appreciate our trust and support by improving thier efficiency and work ethically to increase their credibility in public eyes.

As the public, I’m grateful there are police and I appreciate what they have done. May Allah give them good health, strength and protection while doing their work. May also the sincerity, sacrifice and hard work will be reward awesomely by Him.

Isn’t amazing of what Allah reward us. Every human were given with different character, enthusiasm, hobby, physical, brain and emotion. That makes us being in different area but still dependable to each other. What I can say about police, I respect them for their braveness! MashAllah =)

Lastly enjoy Garfield comic strip: Caped avanger =p